Yahoo!!! Its OVAH

Not being a scrooge or anything, but hell to the yeah, the rush around, need to wrap a quick gift, oh shit I forgot to get a gift card season is done.

And we pulled it off. Actuallly, my family and friends SO rallied around making sure M2 had a rockin Christmas, it was one of our best ever.

Remember a long time ago when I said I have the equivalent of a drug problem for a certain perfume?? GOT IT! I so got it, and every time I walk by the bottle I pick it up and say 'hello, lover'. Boys beware, I am now armed with French Spanish Fly. No kidding, it is friggin intoxicating.

Hope you got all your goodies and are petting them and loving them accordingly.

These are funny, to end the year with, because Texas is like living on a separate planet. And the holidays really bring it out as in outlandish overthe top indulgence, all the way to trailer park tacky. There is a lid for every pot around here.

You May Live in Texas...
If someone in Walmart offers you assistance and they don't even work there

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number
If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of Dallas for the weekend

If you measure distance in hours
If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked
If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them
If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph --you're going 80 and everybody's passing you (ed. note -they may be passing you on the shoulder)
If you find 60 degrees 'a little chilly

Here's to an awesome, money making, smooth sailing 2010!

LYPutUpTheFakeSnowGuts,

Bj

Dont' Google Ugly Christmas Sweaters

First of all, I do not know these people. And I'm thinking I don't want to, although I'm sure they are lovely. The aging Chihuahua in her lap is the perfect accessory, don't cha think?

Moving on; Hey people, Christmas is right up road!! Although my house looks like Christmas threw up in it and then someone took a leaf blower and ran through every room, I'm ok with it. M2 likes the tree and the Mantel of Too Much Shit , so hey, we're making memories.

And I have beautifully regifted some things to grab at the last minute so I have something in my hand when I stop by here and there this week. If you get something back or you vaguely recognize that frozen fruitcake, remember your manners please, and no eyebrow raising. You know I can spot a WTF look from a block away.

Working Girl (oh hell yes) has not received that first thing they call a paycheck. I think I remember how it feels, but I may have to rub it all over my body to really remember the joy they use to bring me.

The Sled Team needs some attention too. Owen needs a Pedi because he is doing the Kamodo Dragon thing with this nails. Abner needs a complete makeover, but he also has to have a muzzle if 'that stranger' is going to touch him, and he looks like Hannibel Lechter the whole time they are clipping him. We may go out for that Day of Beauty tomorrow.

Bella needs the dog version of a frontal lobotomy. Or not. I kind of like her 'huh?' response to everything except food. She'll take a finger off while flying through the air to grab that piece of cheese that was intended for a sandwich of human consumption. She has no boundaries.

As for the 'rest of my Christmas shopping' the rest will be my first, and it will happen Weds/Thursday ish (see note above about first paycheck) I'm either going to find really good sales, or all the Snuggies I plan to purchase will only be left in Camo print. Kind of like the year M2 got a Hot Wheels Scooter instead of a Barbie Scooter. A puzzled three year old is easy to sort out though, I just told her that Santa must have thought she was too bad ass for that Barbie pink girlie scooter.

If I could fly around like Santa and visit all of you, I would. I would have a glass or seven of wine with Lorrie and Kip somewhere tall in NYC, take a picture of me, Le, and a Kangaroo, in Whoop Whoop,

probably just Ring N Run at Kregs cause I'd be scared he would open the door, have all the Smartini girls make us all their favorite beverages, sleep over cause I drank too much, swing by Sheila's and act like I want to borrow some Marmite (for spackle), show up at Thystles like I am the police, then head to the bowling alley with her, and on and on and on.

I love this little world over here, good place to escape, run all over the world at the end of my fingers, and know if I really did show up, you would let me in. And that is the BEST PRESENT EVAH.

Along with that paycheck :)

LYEggnogDrinkingGuts,

Bj

To My Secret Santas

Thank you for the packages on my porch and the money for Morgan's Christmas presents. I have no idea who you are, but I know you are part of my amazing circle of family and friends.

I love all you guys, more than you know.

I'm gonna pay it forward very soon.

LYG

Bj

EMPLOYED.

Oh hell to the yes, somebody FINALLY gave me a



J-O-B.







And I am doing the HAPPY DANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Thanks for hanging in there with me through my Bitching, Crying, Swearing, Drinking, Summer of Unemployment. Its been a hell of a roller coater ride, but I can see the train pulling in the station so I can get off this 5 month , 29 days, 3 1/2 hour event.


Good luck to the people that are just getting on, feel free to leave your comments over here anytime cause I heart you and know what it feels like. You can bitch, swear, whatever you need cause things will turn around for you too.



LYPutMeOnThePayrollGuts,

Bj