Kelly Kelly, Can You Hear Me Now?

Had a wonderful time poolside at a very dear friends home yesterday, who I call 'KellyKelly'. I have no idea why I call her that, we go back 22 years when we both were in college in Dallas. (She was fresh out of HS, I was a 'returning' student).

The occasion was for her 9 year old daughters birthday, Miss L, and there were kids and neighbors and food and laughter and just a really good gathering. KK is one of my friends that no matter how much time goes by, we pick right back up where we were and keep going. She 'gets' me and I 'get' her. We have helped each other sort out things through the years from boyfriends to exams to husbands to kids to recipes, etc. Quite a long list.

Oh, and she is gorgeous. In a very unassuming, natural way, but in her true style, she was dressed for a pool party and just floated around being a great hostess for the kids and friends. I would say she makes it look very effortless, its just her. She was telling her friends about my blog and then said to me that I mentioned her one time and she was so flattered.

So now you got the whole blog today, KK! Thanks for being such a great girlfriend, through thick and thin, through trying to stay sane and raise these kids and keep our balance. This ones for you.........

LYRedheadGuts,

Bj

OH NO! YEAH, BABY!

I learned to do this. And you know how psychotic random my recent posts have been, I'm sure you'll block my link as fast as you can be impressed with my new internet skills......

I bow to the Master, LV, who taught me how to add photos many moons ago and now this. I'm sure everyone is emailing you hate mail so happy.
It can only go to hell up from here......

and by the way, .....

I Love a good Chardonnay Your Guts,

Bj

Dog Humor

A Crew of Two.....

This may or may not be a long post. Its Sunday, Memorial Day weekend, and although we've had plans here and there, today is overcast and we are 'inbetween' invitations to go and do holiday things. I'm trying to fill in the bursts of going here and there with yard work and things around the house.

The previous week, however, has been overwhelming in so many ways.

You all know my posts about my family issues, and that is going to be a long time coming to mend what has been said and the sadness it has caused my family. I am sorry it happened, but I can't go back and change it. My horoscope said all relationships change or run their course and that is an understatement. I am a person that functions on other peoples approval, and quite frankly it sucks but it is my truth. To be told you are a trainwreck when you are hanging on the sturdiest limb you can find and trying to create a new environment for your child is almost equal to having all of your efforts erased. A very deep cut indeed, but you know my motto is to keep on keepin on so that is all I can do.

In addition to that, I had a very eye opening parental event happen with M2 this week. I won't go into detail, but it reminded me of the road I have ahead of me going into the teen years. It wasn't bad behavior, it was testing her new waters and I as a parent should have been more diligent monitoring her activities rather than just trusting she knows the boundaries that her father and I expect. At least as parents we are still united in our values and standards for her, and she saw that from both of us this week. As in all three of us, sitting in my living room, putting all things out on the table, and going over the list of rules and consequences for not following them. And she SO got it. I know my kid. However, we took 3 large steps back in the trust department, making sure we drove home the point of you are 12, not 16. Wings getting clipped is always painful. But she's a great kid and we will get back on track.

So, with those major events all rolled into seven days, I have been crashing mentally on and off and just sat on my patio and thought about everything. I feel like she and I are in a boat together, and our safe harbors are here and there but there are huge segments of time that I feel we are just drifting, the two of us, and I'm trying to get to one of those harbors. Right now, I'm in the Bay of Uncertainty. Uncertain about so many things that only will be sorted out with time. I must face a docking soon at a family gathering and although I look forward to being with the group, the uncertainty of where I will stand with my sister makes my stomach hurt. The closer it gets, I will probably feel like full blown throwing up. When we set sail again, it will be out to the waters of summer. My personal economy is very tight right now, and activities beyond Disney Movies On Demand and taking the sled team for a walk have to be very thought out and getting alot of bang for the buck. Makes me want to sigh and say the F word. Here we go again.....

So if you are still reading, I'm still writing to get these things out of my head. You don't have to comment, I know and always feel the support I have from my blog chicks. You guys are awesome, and we are quite a crew if I do say so myself.

So be careful, if you hear a ship horn and look out your window, it may be a crew of two. But that also means you are a safe harbor for me and I appreciate it.

As Pat Green says, 'it came upon me wave on wave, you're the reason I'm still here....am I the one you were sent to save? it came upon me wave on wave.

LoveYourSailingShoesGuts,

Bj

Ode to Nick Faldo Ries

If you knew my cat Nick, who is no longer with us, you would have also known of his very nasty disposition. Actually, nobody liked him but me and he had a dark side I called the 'point of no return'. At that moment, I would have to either trap him in a room until he calmed down or spray him with water. But the water boarding didn't always work, depending on how mad he was and he would come at you while being blasted straight in the face. He could kick Abners ass, but when Bella came along and got bigger, he had aged too much to really get in her business and she thought he was fun to mess with. So, June 13th (Friday), 07, he went to kitty heaven where I'm guessing he is slashing his way around up there too.

Either that or he is very hot.

Saw this picture, thought of Nick. It makes me laugh alot.


LYIstillhavescarsGuts,
Bj

Found in Translation

There is a saying my British friends have that goes "Bob's Your Uncle, Fannie's Your Aunt, which means things are good, smooth sailing etc.

I think you toast or something and hug and know the situation is good.

But currently in my WORLD, here's my saying...

You're Aunt Rosie, I'm Uncle Harvey.

And my friends,just for saying that, I will now continue to bubble in this huge vat of Eye of Knute that I've been placed in, unfairly, by someone that I am related to. My saying this will not cause smooth sailing and we won't hug and toast and laugh like we use to. And sorry if you don't get what this actually means, but I had to get it out of my head anyway.

And I can because this is MY blog........

And people change and lifes'a bitch sometimes.

LYDidyouknowI'mAtrainwreck?Guts,

Bj

Lowering my Expectations

Got an email today from a very trusted friend offering me some ongoing chick support. She stated 'lower your expectations' of some people I won't mention and it made total sense. Reminded me of a statement that my shrink says ' the only outcome of a situation that you can control is when you are the only one that you depend on for the results'. Day-um. Isn't that the truth! I have too much faith in people having other peoples feelings in their best interest. Even just turning fifty, I still believe that my true friends and family would obviously want our relationship to be the best it can be, and connect or communiciate with me like someone that has my 'back'.

Not so much.

So, with that verbosity as LV would say, I continue to learn life lessons about people and their behaviors; geniune, smug, caring, insensitive,

no thought to their actions, being the ones that should be in therapy.

Thats ok, cause when I have an AH HAH moment I gain more knowledge from that persons behavior and I don't even have to hand over a $35 copay.

Wucky me.

LYbenicetooneanotherGuts

Bj

My Claim to Fame

Happy Mothers Day to me, this is the person that keeps me keepin on.
And she enjoys facials, mani's and pedi's at the ripe old age of 12......
where did she get that?

Love, love, love you M2, you are the reason I love being a Mom.

LYputyourfeetuptomorrowGuts,
Bj

I Now Plan My Future with My Daily Horoscope

Got on some email that sends me the daily horoscope and I get a kick out of the ones that kind of hit the nail on my head, including this one ..

Your intuition is always right on the money -- don't start questioning it now. Serendipity brings some interesting momentum into your life, but it'll come from left field. Just don't over think it. Allow this good energy to work for you, not against you.

I actually do have great intuition, but past that my judgement is ruled by my heart, not my head. Always has been, and I'm thinking without a frontal lobotomy, it always will be. The definition I looked up for serendipity is finding something wonderful or valuable when you are not looking for it. I won't be jaded about this information, however, I keep thinking the only surprise I have found lately is a $20 in my jeans as I was throwing them in the laundry. So, since I am supposed to allow this surprise to work FOR me, I promptly added $20 more to the new fund and bought some cute little sandals. See? I'm already doing what the printed voices tell me...

Through the years, my horoscope has also constantly reminded me to use my creativity. I recently said outloud that I would like to have a studio where I could paint and write and design and dance and sing and just be inspired. Well, I put it on my Life Board, you know the thing Oprah says we all should have to shape our perfect future life? Do you know I read about a woman that was so sure she would meet her perfect mate, that she would set the dinner table for two, cook for two, etc? Sounds a little freaky but she soon met Mr. Right. Guess I could squeeze in another chair for that invisible bowl of Mac N Cheese or move one of the three dog bowls from under the table so Mr. See Thru doesn't put his imaginary foot in one...

And by the way, I am a TEXTBOOK Pisces. And I do believe people have certain traits, some very strong, that follow their individual horoscopes.

If you don't or never have paid attention to it, you may want to take a look and see if you match your info. Linda Goodman's Sun Signs is a great old standby to see what you think.

You never know, you might just find that serendipitous $20 in the pockets of your life.

LYLooneyLunarGuts,

Bj