Getting My ESS-ACHSE-EYE-TEE Together!!!!

Can I have a Woot Woot! There is a resume Goddess, and I just found her. I was having so many problems moving info around and trying to send info specific resumes out to the world, that I was losing my mind...........THEN, I get on Microsoft Office, and voila, I figured it out, and life is good again, well relatively speaking in the world of umemployment.

Speaking of unemployment, here in the state of Texas the max you get per week is $400 and some change. Can't wait for that windfall, I tell you. I applied online, hit send while doing the sign of the cross, and now I get about one letter per day saying 'we are processing your request.' I have no idea when they actually send money, but they sure are great at telling you its in your future. I know, if they spent less time and postage on the pre-money chit chat, and add that to the pot, we may be able to barely live and pay our bills while looking for a frigging job.

Why am I not in charge of the rules?

Big Congrats go to Le Down Under (Third on the Right) for her new adventure into Croc Country in Northern Austrailia. You go girl, don't quite understand your new position but to me, it sounds like you are going to be like the Mayor or the Principal or the President of that town.

Good Luck Le! If you come across an extra Croc hanging around the flower bed, tell MIC I would love some boots or a nice handbag....He could have Craft Day with the boys!

Have a great week!

LYDamnItsHotGuts,

Bj

A Reality Show Idea

Getting into the 'next phase' of my life, and any prospects of a relationship in the near/far future, its pretty obvious that I will meet a divorced man, I'm just saying. And I think I prefer someone divorced to never been married, cause that could be an entire carousel of baggage that you didn't see coming, nor know how to deal with its contents.

I was thinking about someone in particular, old friend, that I hear is now divorced twice, wondering what happened because he seems like a great guy (years ago). Suddenly I thought, if you are about to become serious with someone, a great reality show would be"Lets Speak to The Ex" and the new girlfriend could quiz the ex wife(s) about what happened.... does he burp and fart all the time, not put his underwear in the hamper, drink milk out of the carton, come home smelling like perfume, gamble away the grocery money......

You know, the usual stuff.

What questions should we ask the Ex?

LYJohnandKateDon'tMakeEightGuts,

Bj

First Time Camper

Well, we are busy packing shorts and bathing suits to get M2 off to tennis camp. This is the first time she has gone to an overnight camp, and I can still recall the excitement I always had when packing for my summers at Camp C'Andy. She, however, will be in a dorm with A/C so its not quite the steamy experience I had. I have been telling her how I had friends that I mostly saw in the summer at camp, and maybe this will be like that. I don't think I will tell her the following, though....

-when my friend and I froze all the silverware and hid the cereal and the cook (of like 500 years) threatened to quit that morning.

-scaring the s-h-i-t out of another girl at the cemetary who we talked into going with us that night

-putting saran wrap over the toilets in the main bathroom

-then vaseline the next night

-locking the staff in the staff cabin during their morning meeting then spraying them down with hoses through the screen walls

-moving a girls bed all the way out to the hill and setting up her area just how it looked in the cabin

-walking the entire length of the camp wrapped only in a raft because somebody took our bathing suits because we were skinny dipping

I think there are more 'adventures', because I went every summer for 3 or 4 weeks. I'm sure she will begin making her own memories, and I'll secretly smile remembering my own. Man it was fun.

LYMosquitosandSunburnGuts,

Bj

Today's Beauty Twitter

If I had a huge wart on the end of my nose, I would have it removed.

You're welcome.

LYFindADermatologistGuts,

Bj

Whoa, what was that?

Hiya Vixens.............

Imagine....... working your ass off to finish a project that came one layer up from your corporate office, meaning from the parent company, and labeled 'high visibility'. No pressure. .......ha...If I didn't have a phone up to my head, I had a mapquest search going on and pretty much worked in that speed for six days. Not what I call sensible planning to achieve a successful outcome, more like panic mode that this was coming from the top, ie Germany. Grab your lederhosens, and hang on, which was exactly what the entire sales team was doing.

So I turn in all documents, data, and fall into bed Thursday night. I was SO glad that initiative was over and looking forward to a 'normal' day in my office getting things caught up that I had put in the 'not now' pile.

BUT, the cosmic universe has other plans for me. I open my email and what to my wandering eyes do appear? An email from my boss (with no options given) to meet at an 'off site' location at 10:30 am.

M2 sweetly said 'maybe you're getting a raise!' but I knew about previous offsite location meetings for coworkers had not resulted in a raise....

Yup, by 11:17 am I was 'laid off'. Handed a nice little stack of papers, with all exit info, labeled 'would rehire' (gee thanks- maybe by Monday?)

and I had to say goodbye to the best boss I've ever had. Then the phone started ringing and I ended the last call about 10:30 last night. It wasn't just me, and it had nothing to do with my performance, so I was told. The sucky building industry recession has finally hit Texas, 2 years after it hit California where the corporate office is, and we've been holding the boat steady for that period of time. But we sprang a leak in January, and that is where I am.

SO, taking the weekend to absorb this change in my road, and just hang out with M2 and do some swimming, yard work, and cleaning out my office. Then on Monday, as my gay guy friend said last night, I need to shift into survival mode. I did get a miniature severance package, which is better than a handshake and 'we'll miss you' I suppose. We will be eating creative leftovers, thats for sure........

Send me good thoughts, good ideas, or just your witty comments as usual. My job preferences would be to make millions of bazillions writing this blog, or traveling with the circus as the person that bathes the elephants. I would love a job that doesn't involve constant stress when you are NOT supposed to be working....do those jobs even exist??

LYblowingoffthedustonmyresumcGuts,

Bj

Mixin It Up

editors note: looking for a photo, I grabbed this one because you could pretty much mix and match this with that guy that is on trial claiming he is Clark Rockefeller.........right?

This random post is about a variety of things that mix...or not so much

kind of like the six degrees of Kevin Bacon but different...

Well, my GF Belinda got the summer drink started by bringing her recipe for Pimms Cups to a get together, then Sheilas darling husband kept it going at another event. Pimms is hard to describe, but you cut up a bunch of fruit (oranges, lemons, cherries, etc) and also a few cucumbers, and some mint, and put them in ice, stir, then add 1/3 Pimms and 2/3 GingerAle. Very smooth and sippable by the pool...try it....

Mothers Day Cocktail- some guy showed up at a party with this home made recipe, said he made it to survive his in laws coming for Mothers Day. Ice, vodka, sprite, creme de casis, and big lime squeeze. Shake. Kind of like a Pimms Cup but different. Very light for summer...try it...

Dog Fights- that falls under mixin it up, right? Had another mini squirmish but I got in the middle of it quickly and carried Owen down the hall by his collar. Both knew I was pissed and wouldn't put up with their dog crap....period. Not as traumatic as the first, thats for sure. Mini mix up in the living room.

Dirty Laundry- if one more basket of clean clothes gets mixed in with dirty clothes, I'm going postal...M2 is NOTORIOUS for mixing dirty with clean, and once you fold a load of dirty clothes, you will understand why this does not make me happy.....

Unusual mix of people at an upcoming party- whoa, I'm on the fence about attending this one when I heard the list....or maybe I should sip on a Pimms and sit in the corner and observe. Might make a great post over here.....

Whats your version of mixing it up today????

LYhasanyoneseenRacieLoverGuts,
Bj