Dont' Google Ugly Christmas Sweaters

First of all, I do not know these people. And I'm thinking I don't want to, although I'm sure they are lovely. The aging Chihuahua in her lap is the perfect accessory, don't cha think?

Moving on; Hey people, Christmas is right up road!! Although my house looks like Christmas threw up in it and then someone took a leaf blower and ran through every room, I'm ok with it. M2 likes the tree and the Mantel of Too Much Shit , so hey, we're making memories.

And I have beautifully regifted some things to grab at the last minute so I have something in my hand when I stop by here and there this week. If you get something back or you vaguely recognize that frozen fruitcake, remember your manners please, and no eyebrow raising. You know I can spot a WTF look from a block away.

Working Girl (oh hell yes) has not received that first thing they call a paycheck. I think I remember how it feels, but I may have to rub it all over my body to really remember the joy they use to bring me.

The Sled Team needs some attention too. Owen needs a Pedi because he is doing the Kamodo Dragon thing with this nails. Abner needs a complete makeover, but he also has to have a muzzle if 'that stranger' is going to touch him, and he looks like Hannibel Lechter the whole time they are clipping him. We may go out for that Day of Beauty tomorrow.

Bella needs the dog version of a frontal lobotomy. Or not. I kind of like her 'huh?' response to everything except food. She'll take a finger off while flying through the air to grab that piece of cheese that was intended for a sandwich of human consumption. She has no boundaries.

As for the 'rest of my Christmas shopping' the rest will be my first, and it will happen Weds/Thursday ish (see note above about first paycheck) I'm either going to find really good sales, or all the Snuggies I plan to purchase will only be left in Camo print. Kind of like the year M2 got a Hot Wheels Scooter instead of a Barbie Scooter. A puzzled three year old is easy to sort out though, I just told her that Santa must have thought she was too bad ass for that Barbie pink girlie scooter.

If I could fly around like Santa and visit all of you, I would. I would have a glass or seven of wine with Lorrie and Kip somewhere tall in NYC, take a picture of me, Le, and a Kangaroo, in Whoop Whoop,

probably just Ring N Run at Kregs cause I'd be scared he would open the door, have all the Smartini girls make us all their favorite beverages, sleep over cause I drank too much, swing by Sheila's and act like I want to borrow some Marmite (for spackle), show up at Thystles like I am the police, then head to the bowling alley with her, and on and on and on.

I love this little world over here, good place to escape, run all over the world at the end of my fingers, and know if I really did show up, you would let me in. And that is the BEST PRESENT EVAH.

Along with that paycheck :)

LYEggnogDrinkingGuts,

Bj